first, i think its kind of funny how my blog fluctuates between semi-poetic meanderings on life, records of memorable events, deeply theological/ecclesiological thoughts and other random things i feel like writing about. i am not really sure why i blog in the first place... its such a strange attraction to blog... they are like journal entries/records of your life/excuses for you to satisfy a desire for people to affirm you/tell you you are a good writer/pay attenton to you... i dont know.
i have been in this weird place since i got back from river rafting this weekend. like i cant go to sleep at night, even though i am super tired. like i am exhausted all the time and sort of overwhelmed by even the most simple things at work, but i have all sorts of energy to check myspace, blog-surf, eat lots of junk food and talk with people on the phone. maybe i am having indulgence overload and cant get myself to face the realities of being a person with a full time job and lots of responsibilities.
i had an amazing weekend with holly in super norcal (almost at the border of oregon and ca)-- lots of alone time (which is hard for me to take, being such an extrovert), lots of jaw-dropping natural beauty, lots of girl talk, lots of just goodness, you know? it was much needed and i came back refreshed... only to be tackled with an insane week at work with all kinds of different challenges that make the most route tasks seem absolutely impossible.
right now, i just have this strange feeling that things are changing... everything seems just slightly turned, like its heading in a different direction, like... i don't know, i cant describe it. i feel like i am ready to see things in a new way, to begin to expand out. more than anything- i need an adventure. an honest to goodness adventure. with unexpected twists, with unclear direction, with high stakes and lots of unknown. i dont know how you chase down adventure, or how you attain it. it doesnt seem like it should be something you should even have to attain or look for. seems like it should just find you. this isnt to say i am not challenged, or growing or striving. but... i feel restless.
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“The humans live in time, but our Enemy (God) destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself and to the point of time which they call the Present. For the present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy (God) has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered to them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present- either meditating on their eternal union with or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.” CS Lewis, "The Screwtape Letters"
“The humans live in time, but our Enemy (God) destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself and to the point of time which they call the Present. For the present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy (God) has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered to them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present- either meditating on their eternal union with or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.” CS Lewis, "The Screwtape Letters"
1 comment:
You need adventure!!?? Come to Colorado!! We'll play with bears, eat bark, get lost in a snow-laden cave, go to Red Rocks, and break some limbs so we can have peeps sign our casts! Giddy up!
See you soon... :)
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