i am sort of beginning to realize that small talk can be really draining. i am a pretty extroverted person (and have always been) but i think i am beginning to get a little more introverted as time goes by. and i am realizing that putting out the effort to make small talk is getting a bit more difficult as i go more intro.
i was in trader joes today and had the realization that i always feel really awkward when i interact with the checkers there. they seem like really cool people, many of them have tattoos and piercings and funky hair and i always think to myself, i would like to talk to/hang out/become friends with these people. but i am not sure how exactly to do that and when i try to make small talk, i just feel really dumb. like, just, i don't know, like i am trying too hard? not that those people are rude, at all!! but more like, i am trying to be casual, you know cool- breezy (i'm breezy!) and then... awkward silence...! and i suck with silence, i can't take it.
today i finally asked this checker, named moses, if it was hard to make small talk with people all day. he laughed and said yes, but that some people dont talk back really and sometimes there is all kinds of awkward silence with the customers and then they just leave. he said he just gets used to the silence.
moses wants to be a photographer and has a showing at a new brewery in town, which is very interesting to me and he was very excited to tell me about it. it was cool to have that 2.5 minute conversation and watch someone doing their mundane check out job and then see them just light up when talking about what they are passionate about. i love that.
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“The humans live in time, but our Enemy (God) destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself and to the point of time which they call the Present. For the present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy (God) has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered to them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present- either meditating on their eternal union with or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.” CS Lewis, "The Screwtape Letters"
“The humans live in time, but our Enemy (God) destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself and to the point of time which they call the Present. For the present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy (God) has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered to them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present- either meditating on their eternal union with or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.” CS Lewis, "The Screwtape Letters"
1 comment:
I have a hard time with small talk, too. I used to work with an older woman who would ask details about everything in someone's life while she was ringing them up (this was at a toy store in Saratoga). I think a lot of her rubbed off on me, because now I cannot let people go without knowing how they're doing, where they're going, how their life is. I want to hang out with the customers, not just provide customer service. I don't think most people expect to encounter real, caring people throughout their daily routine.
And I wanna meet Moses ! He seems cool. Photographers are cool. Kristins are cool. I love you !!
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