fearfully and wonderfully made

every year, my family gets massages as part of our christmas gift. it sounds kind of weird, yeah, but its one of the few things that will get my punk brothers to actually show up and hang out with the rest of the family :) so this is something nice to look forward to each year, because who doesnt like a massage?

this year, as we sat waiting to get taken to our rooms for the massages, i told my sis and bro that i really hoped i didnt get a guy cause that would definitely be kind of awkward. i didnt want to have to feel awkward when a massage is supposed to be relaxing. and dont you know it, when my masseuse came, he was, in fact, a guy. i smiled and laughed to myself... awesome.

now, being an extrovert and the way i am, i get anxious in silence, especially with people i dont know. i have a tough time not talking to the person giving me a massage when i get one (see july 05 blog). this year, i was just wanting peace- i was not really looking forward to having to make small talk with a stranger for an hour, in a dark room, with airy new age music going on in the background (not that i think new age music is wrong, i just dont personally prefer it). so i wasnt stoked on the added weirdness of having a guy masseuse. hmmm, how is this going to go?

when my masseuse (jason) took me to the room, i was pleasantly surprised to find it a well lit and spacious room. it smelled really inviting and the music was soft, eclectic world music, with a sort of indian flavor to it. laying on my back with a blanket over me, jason put his hands out over me, not touching me at all... he then slowly moved them down and pressed his hands into the small of my back and i heard him sort of whispering-- i am not sure if he was praying or what, but it definitely felt like he took a moment to think through what he was doing, to sort of honor the experience.

as my massage began, i was surprised to feel overcome with peace- a sense that i could talk if i wanted or i could just be quiet. i felt very comfortable, very at ease. jason told me a bit about different types of massage and different theories about muscle work, which was good-- keep it professional, help assure he wasnt creepy. he also began telling me about how massage therapists travel quite a bit and dont usually stay in one place too long... many are very "spiritual" he said, and like to visit Africa, India and experience those cultures and religions. this really struck me, because as jason worked very carefully on my different muscles, i could tell he was treating them each very delicately and had a very deep respect for each part of the body, for the intricate way the body is made up. this got me to thinking about the body and the fact that God has crafted each of us so very particularly and uniquely. and i started to imagine how it must have been for God when he was creating the body... carefully looking over each part, putting each piece together, smiling at the beauty he was creating. and i imagined how he must have marveled when it was all done- thinking "this is good."

perhaps, i wondered, as jason began to work out the crazy knots on my upper back, the reason many massage therapists are so spritiual is that they get to deal with the body all the time... and they arent necessarily looking at it clinically or intellectually, really, but as this intricate beautiful masterpiece- each part connected to the other, the muscles all tied together with the rest of the systems of the body... and how touching them in a certain way and helping to relieve the stress of the everyday (jason said that the smallest things we do can affect our muscles-- how we type, how we answer the phone, how we use a mouse) can make them function the way they were originally meant to work.

i was surprised during the massage at how much my body reacted to being touched in this "therapeutic" way by someone who knew so much about muscles and how to help them relax. as my body eased and was able to release all the tension, stress, and tightness it held, i began to feel other things leave me - confusion, sadness, worry... the body tied up so closely with all my feelings. how does that work? our bodies, minds, hearts, souls are all tangled and touching- we can't separate them and when one hurts, all the others seem to follow suit.

we are fearfully and wonderfully made