i'm sick

yes, as you have heard in little bits over the last few posts, i am indeed, sick. what i realized today is that its not like i have this really bad illness that won't go away. what i actually have is a compromised immune system that is allowing all sorts of bugs and bacteria and virus' into my body, and bit by bit, those stupid things are making me sick with a whole plethora of different sicknesses- back to back and without much break in between. my body probably doesn't even know what it feels like to be healthy, its felt so bad for so long.

so, finally, i took a few days off this week. this is the end of day three. i usually go stircrazy from being alone for so long, but its actually been quite enjoyable being alone and not really talking very much. i have liked it. but i am still going stir crazy and i am only going stir crazy because i have so much to do at work that i am near panic that i wont get it done in time. one of those things i have to do is prepare to speak again on sunday. so what do i chose to do with my time? blog.

but this is good, its part of the process. you see, because i am processing what i am thinking and learning as i study to speak. i am speaking on how we can't change without each other, the role our community has in our transformation. and i have been reading in "how people grow" by cloud and townsend all about the role of the Body in an individuals journey toward change. and though sometimes it feels like the body metaphor is overused and sort of like, yeah yeah, the church is the Body of Christ, blah blah-- right now, its just so real to me, so just, alive (the Body, its alive! ALIVE!)

the authors of this book point out the amazing reality of how the physical body functions--

"for this is what the physical body does when one cell suffers. it sends healing to the injured part of the body. if you have a wounded arm, for example, the body sends antibodies, healing agents, fresh oxygenated blood, white cells, information, anti-inflammatory agents, and so on to that limb. And they do their healing work."

-- and then go on to compare that to how the Body of Christ is to work-- that some bring grace and love as anti-inflammatory agents.... others mourn together and their tears flush out sickness.... teachers offer truth to a wound and help build a strong cellular structure.... when it all works together, infections are healed.

as i study this, i remember that i read "the gift of pain" last year and how its a longer, deeper look into the paralells between the physical body and the spiritual one- and is especially specific on the role pain plays both in the growth of our body and our soul.

so in thinking of our brokeness, as individuals and as a Body--of our sickness both physically and spiritually-- of how we are healed and how sometimes we remain sick, i wonder what the metaphor i am living in means?

"He has lost connection with the Head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow" (Col 2:19)

"From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work" (Eph 4:16)