Hungry for Change: Part 4... Perspective

Though I have found this to be a dynamic and thought-provoking experience, I am ready for it to be over. It's has definitely gotten physically easier for us as the days go on, and I don't feel the consistent hunger pangs I had the first couple of days. However, I still struggle with the limited menu and keeping myself reigned in when all I want to do eat is something, ANYTHING but oatmeal, beans and rice.

On the evening of Day 3, we visited with another set of friends over in San Jose. We met them at a coffeeshop and all drank tea together-- they were eager to hear what new diet prevented us from sharing dinner with them. (side note, once settled into our conversation, we realized that this coffeeshop suffered from what Portlandia calls "Bad Art, Good Walls"- see picture for example) We explained what we were doing with HFC this week and they thought it was a really innovative and interesting concept. One of these friends has struggled for the last couple of years with an unknown illness that has wreaked havoc on her digestive system, causing her body to reject most of the food she tried to eat and leaving her to go for sometimes weeks at a time with little to no food. The illnesses effects are evident in her massive weight loss and her and her boyfriends inability to go to many social events and outings. She, of anyone, could understand what we were experiencing-- even more than us, she has suffered over the course of months and months, has been unable to have control over her food and really, her life for so long, I can't imagine how she must feel. I felt suddenly ridiculous for complaining about 5 days of not eating much, knowing how deeply and profoundly she has suffered. But what I love and what gives me such hope (and even shows me how deeply real God is), is that instead of complaining or lamenting or even calling us out on our (now obviously) petty whining, she shared that because of her prolonged period of experiencing that hunger, she is dedicated to doing something with her life that can help people who are hungry around the world. Her eyes lit up when she shared this, and she said it in a way that was so matter of fact, so decided, it struck me that this was exactly what she would do.

Day 4 was more of a mixed experience for us. By about 6pm, we were dreading another bowl of rice & beans, and by 7:30pm, we were ready to go to sleep. Our energy just felt so depleted. We dragged ourselves out to a friends' concert and though the music was great and we had tons of friends around, I kept getting distracted by the bowls of chips & salsa and the slices of delicious cake being served at the venue. I wanted one SO BAD. It's all I could think of at times, especially when I wasn't engaged in conversation or absorbed in the music... food. food. food. I think more than a physical challenge, Hungry for Change is a mental challenge... training my mind to not think of things I wasn't allowed to have, training my thoughts to divert to other things besides the hunger and longing. It's incredible how powerful the mind is. I even dreamed of food that night, waking up to realize that we still had 2 more days and my portioned oatmeal serving was just waiting for me in the kitchen.