intersections

i have been learning of late about repeating.

facing so many of the same mistakes i have made before, i am seeing repeating. all these same circumstances and fears haunt me because of their cursed familiarity. i was wisely reminded that we all will repeat our mistakes and that our set of "issues" does not change from 25 to 55. not to say healing and restoration is impossible. not to say we dont learn to deal with the issues we have and that we dont have times where we feel we have overcome them.

but our issues will always be the same. we are going to keep coming to these same intersections that look so familiar, wondering why we keep coming back to them. havent i learned? havent i worked through this? why do i keep coming back here? the familiarity becomes sickening, inbearable.

but just because the intersection is the same, doesnt mean that we arent learning or changing. maybe its the same intersection, but maybe, this time, the semi-truck isnt going to run us over. maybe, this time, we will wait at the red light. maybe, this time, we will slow at the yellow. maybe this time, we will get to go right through on green. maybe, this time, we will not freak out that we have come to the same intersection once again.

maybe, this time.