in the river of sun

i am being told to write about what its like to walk around in oregon. its really beauitful actually, quite stunning, but normal. Really nature-y, you know, but it sometimes seems sort of Truman Show-esque, like its outside, but really really clean, all the rows and rows of trees and the water is really clear. Its like suburban woods, but its real, though, you know?

i borrowed "the call" from a friend, one of the only ones who reads this blog regularly (i left you a note, nabajuice :) ) and i was struck by this quote... (am i turning into grace squared or what?)

True seekers are different. On meeting them you feel their purpose, their energy, their integrity, their idealism, and their desire to close in on an answer. Something in life has awakened questions, has made them aware of a sense of need, has forced them to consider where they are in life. They have become seekers because something has spurred their quest for meaning and they have to find an answer.

True seekers are looking for something. They are people for whom life or a part of life, has suddenly become a point of wonder, a question, a problem, or a crisis. This happens so intensely that they are stirred to look for an answer beyond their present answers and to clarify their position in life. However the need arise, whatever it calls for, the sense of need consumes searchers and launches them on their quest. Notice that “a sense of need” does not justify peoples believing. People do not come to believe in the answers they seek because of the need- that would be irrational and make the believer vulnerable to the accusation that faith is a crutch. Rather, seekers disbelieve in what they believed before because of new questions their previous beliefs could not answer. Os Guiness “The Call”

I do believe i met a true seeker a few weeks ago and we had lunch right before i left for vacation. it was refreshing to talk with her, to hear what she is so passionate about and how intelligent and engaging and real she is. I cannot believe that i get to know her and just be part of her true seeking. what a gift.

up early on Sat morning, really early, actually... up early enough to borrow "the call" from the office in sc and be back in sv in time to leave for out 9 hour drive to oregon. it was easy, passing quickly, i didn't drive at all. i talked with my stepmom and sister much of the time and i love their minds and heart. i love them so much. they were so anxious about the rest of the family flying up in my dads 4seater plane. i wasn't really worried- i guess death feels like it would be a relief, so i am not scared of it as much. but i am sometimes. maybe i was tired. i journaled the last 2 pages in my journal and it felt good for it to be over, done, a completion.


one thing that struck me as we saw oregon today was the quote "why did you have to pick a christianity which sends people to hell? why didn't you chose a different, more liberal one? why not another religion with different values?"

and i cannot answer for the life of me, because.....

i feel like it chose me

and i have no way of explaining how or why....



it just did.