beauty and fear

i re-read this today and felt it right to share now, some 4 months later...

port de iquaçu/iguaçu falls...

an early morning flight, traveling fatigue and heavy bags did nothing to dampen our enthusiasm over our time in iguaçu falls. the moment we jumped in the taxi from the airport, we felt like we had been transported to a different world entirely. it felt like hawaii, only richer colors, more humid air and a sense of calm and tranquility that contrasted beautifully with our big city adventures. not only was the environment simply fantastic, but the hostel we stayed in made us love the whole place even more. it was set up to feel like you were in the jungle, but not in a cheesy way at all-- in the very best way. lots of wood paneling, simple, cozy and clean rooms, a pool, a welcoming and perfectly lit and welcoming bar/hang out area and a super friendly staff (our main contact, sophi, was simply the best, helping us plan our our time in the falls and our next few steps of the trip).

after a yummy breakfast including some Kenny G tunes, we headed up to Iguaçu Falls by bus and once we got through ticketing, me losing my sunglasses and needing to buy new ones and trekking through some short trails, we encountered the Falls, which were beyond words in magnitude, beauty and just pure awe-inspiring-ness. they span about 1.5 miles, and are surrounded by a lush green rainforest/jungle setting. we explored the whole area, taking a boat right into the bottom of the falls (getting totally drenched and me screaming for dear life as the base of the falls is deafening and scary), walking out the edge of the most intense falls, called Devils Throat (the spray from the base of the falls flies up hundreds of feet above the actual falls, the water pressure is so intense) and then taking a slow boat ride through the still waters above the falls, where we saw a crocodile from about 5 feet away (causing me to crouch in the middle of the boat while everyone else laughed at me).

it was on this adventure that it came to me that with many experiences of real, true beauty, fear and danger are almost a requisite companion experience to that beauty. as we experienced all the phenomenally beautiful facets of the falls (seeing it from above, below and next to), an element of fear and danger was always right there with us. hiking across long bridges over the smaller (but still pretty high) falls; walking to the very edge of one large fall and the looking up to see the massive flow of water above; seeing Devils Throat so close, knowing you could slip over and be gone in a second; seeing a crocodile close up; hearing the roar of the falls not far ahead and not being entirely sure the boat guide knew how to steer clear of the edge; walking for a long time over the actual edge of the falls with a pretty low railing to protect you -- all of these things were intensely beautiful, but also incredibly scary. but you could not have the beauty without the fear. miniature versions of those falls could never cause you to feel so overwhelmed by their beauty and magnificence.

i am beginning to see this paradox in all of our adventures- macchu picchu was so gorgeous, so stunning, but every time you realized how high up you were, it was terrifying. flying so many places, feeling the turbulence, knowing how risky flying is if you really think about it- these are all so scary, so fearful-- but could the beauty and experience of South America be had simply by seeing it in a picture online or in some movie? there is no way! the fear and danger of flying gave way to the beauty of this expansive and amazing experience of South America.

as i write this all out, i realize i am happy to have had this revelation, as i am one to always look into the deeper meaning of things. on this trip, i have felt a lightness, an ease, a lack of weight (in a good way). of course my mind still spends way too much time finding things to analyze and think on and try to figure out... but this metaphor or idea of beauty and fear mixing and giving way to each other is churning in me very deeply and still showing me more of itself. perhaps what i am meant to learn here is not something i will be able to control. perhaps the lessons (like this one) will come over time and unexpectedly and in more layers and nuances than i could have ever wanted.