a few people have recently asked me about my blog and when i came back here, i realized i havent written in over a year! it's wild what can happen in a year... brian and i got engaged, planned a wedding and got married in the space of just about 5 months. and on feb 4, we celebrated 5 months of marriage... so crazy! seeing lots and lots and lots of people last night at the Hurricane Roses show last night, i kept getting the question: " how is married life?!"and truly, truly, truly...
it is good.
deeply and wonderfully and dynamically and simply good. and that does not mean it is perfect, or that we are perfect or that we don't hit bumps along the way.
but i can say that marrying the man i married, as the time we did and in the way we did, has brought me some of the deepest fulfillment and joy, and yes happiness, that i have ever experienced. brian is an incredible partner... consistently affectionate, affirming in so many ways, a servant, a supporter, a hugger, a maker of most of meals and a planner of future fun events. there are so many huge things i love about him and so many small things i love about him... and ... it's hard to put into words what he means to me, even after just these 5 short months. God truly knew what He was doing when He brought us together. God knew what i needed - and in spite of all my writhing against His leading and all my protesting about what i thought i wanted... God brought what I needed. And that i have what i need is deeply good.
there is so much more to say, but i wanted to start again today. i spent so much time on this blog wondering and pondering and struggling... and now, i am truly enjoying.
florence and the machine sings "dog days are over" and the lyrics resonate in me, as they seem to speak of someone who is hiding from the happiness she has right in front of her. she needs to be present to the good she has now, and not allow all that had weighed her down in her dog days to ruin what is now, this day. and this is me, truly, truly. so much held at me, pulled me under, kept me away from all the good intended for me. and now, it feels i can be here, in it, reveling, soaking, being.
thank you thank you thank you
Happiness hit her like a train on a track Coming towards her stuck still no turning back She hid around corners and she hid under beds She killed it with kisses and from it she fled With every bubble she sank with her drink And washed it away down the kitchen sink The dog days are over The dog days are done The horses are coming So you better run Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You cant carry it with you if you want to survive
2 comments:
great first post of the year :) it's good for ole' married folk like myself to read and remember the feeling of the beginning of marriage...and try to continually appreciate the continued true happiness that is still there, mixed in with all the ups and downs of daily life.
Kristin,
I am so happy that your "dog days" are over. And if those days return, I believe it will be different than when you were growing up. You have Jesus with you now. He was always there, watching... waiting. When you met Him and started a relationship with Him, I saw your life change in a miraculous way.
Embrace all the happiness and love you have. I believe like a mother to a child, God delights in your happiness. I know I do.
As you continue through your life, remember that Jesus is holding your hand. He will never let it go. I am very grateful that Brian is holding your other hand.
Love,
Mom
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